Kyle Vallans

Most Newsletters Suck

You ever open a newsletter and feel like the idea for it came mid-poop? Rushed, random, and barely thought through?

Same.

There’s been this bubble over the last year where everyone and their dog is launching a newsletter. And 95% of them? Slop.

You’ve seen it:

They think they’re building Morning Brew 2.0. They’re not. They’re just copying the format with zero edge, no voice, and no purpose. It’s templated garbage. And you can smell it from the subject line.

Let's be honest. If you're trying to build a business around one of these newsletter clones, it's not going to work.

Why?

Because:

  1. The ad business is tapped. Big players like Morning Brew, The Hustle, and Market Bullets already dominate the pipeline. If you're starting fresh, you're fighting for scraps and CPMs aren’t what they used to be. Worse, if you land a sponsor and can’t deliver, word gets around fast. Overcharge once, and you’re blacklisted.

  2. You won’t convert squat. Try selling a product or promoting an affiliate link through one of these mass-blast market updates and you’ll get silence. Nobody trusts it. Nobody cares.

  3. There’s no audience. People skim it (if that). No personality, no connection, no reason to stay subscribed.

If you’re thinking about launching a newsletter, you’re better off going personal. Write how you talk. Share your actual take. Be a person, not a template!

Some people are doing it right:

That’s the stuff people stick with.

Meanwhile, every “market debrief” at 4:45PM is getting buried in spam filters or deleted on sight. Nobody is reading those. Nobody is sharing those. And nobody is buying from those.

So before you spin up another slapped-together newsletter template, ask yourself:

If not, do yourself a favor and skip it.

Take a walk, sit with the idea longer, and build something worth opening.


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